Should My Child Join a Fraternity or Sorority?
If you’re a parent of a college student, chances are you’ve already heard your son or daughter mention fraternities or sororities. For many students, Greek life offers the promise of lifelong friendships, leadership opportunities, and an instant community on campus. But for parents, the questions come quickly:
- Is Greek life safe?
- What are the pros and cons of joining?
- How can I help my child make the right decision?
Greek life has long been a source of both tradition and controversy. Hazing, alcohol abuse, and exclusivity have made national headlines, while at the same time, fraternities and sororities provide networking, philanthropy, and a sense of belonging for thousands of students.
This guide is designed to help parents cut through the noise. Below, I’ve pulled together a starter kit to update your knowledge. You’ll find the most recent and highest quality books, podcasts, and reports about Greek life—resources that provide a balanced view of both the benefits and the risks. By engaging with these, you’ll be equipped to have thoughtful, supportive conversations with your student.
Recommended Reading for Parents
The Benefits of Friends: Inside the Complicated World of Today’s Sororities and Fraternities by Jana L. Matthews
A research-based exploration of how fraternities and sororities create belonging, while also perpetuating risks like exclusivity and hazing. One of the most accurate, current, and thoughtful resources for understanding modern Greek life I’ve seen.
True Gentlemen: The Broken Pledge of America’s Fraternities by John Hechinger (Updated 2023 Edition)
A powerful investigative book that looks closely at the darker side of fraternity culture, including hazing, alcohol abuse, and sexual assault. An essential read for parents weighing safety concerns. There’s a lot in this book I’ve seen first hand in my work with students.
Rush: A Novel by Lisa Patton
Though fictional, this bestselling novel shines a light on the emotional intensity of sorority recruitment, particularly in the South. A moving read for parents—especially mothers and daughters navigating rush week. Sad, scary, but important despite being fiction.
JED Foundation Report: Supporting Fraternity Members’ Mental Health (Dec 2024)
This recent evidence-based report highlights how fraternities can both foster mental health and put students at risk. A practical, data-driven resource with clear takeaways for parents.
Podcasts to Listen To
Sorority Chat – “Sorority Recruitment Insights with Trisha Addicks” (August 2025 episode)
A timely discussion about the modern rush process, including the role of social media and the emotional rollercoaster of recruitment. Perfect for parents who want to better understand what their student is experiencing.
Getting In: A College Coach Conversation – Greek Life Episode
Featuring Karen Spencer, a former admissions officer and sorority alum, this podcast episode looks at both the benefits (friendship, leadership, philanthropy) and the risks (bullying, trauma, social isolation). A balanced, parent-friendly perspective.
Parent Action Plan: How to Support Your Student
- Do the reading and listening yourself. Today’s Greek system looks different from decades ago—stay current.
- Ask open-ended questions. Encourage your child to share both excitement and concerns.
- Encourage fact-finding. Point them toward campus advisers, anti-hazing policies, and mental health resources.
- Connect with other parents. Parent networks provide valuable perspective.
- Check in regularly. Even after your student joins (or decides not to), stay engaged with how they’re balancing academics, wellness, and social life.
Conclusion: A Parent’s Role in the Greek Life Decision
For many families, the question “Should my kiddo join a fraternity or sorority?” can feel overwhelming. The truth is, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer. Each frat and sorority have their own feel. Greek life can be an incredible source of community and leadership—or it can create challenges that strain a student’s well-being and even create some severe scar tissue.
The best role parents can play is that of informed guide and supportive listener. By diving into these books, podcasts, and reports, you’ll have the tools to:
- Understand both the benefits and risks of Greek life.
- Talk to your student in thoughtful, open conversations. Have REAL conversations, not just single word responses.
- Support them in making a decision that aligns with their values, goals, and safety. There’s more messiness associated with greek life than you may think.
College is a time of growth, exploration, and independence. With the right preparation, you can help your student approach Greek life with clarity and confidence—whether they decide to go Greek or not.